rock on?
There comes a point in everyone’s life when the notion of standing at concerts begins to lose its charm. You start wearing wristwatches and washing your hair regularly. Concert for you it is then, to take it all in a comfy chair over a glass of wine.
PHOTO GEORGY IVANOV/ TEXT YURI FOKIN feedback
SCENE: Stroll down from Kurskiy railroad station or cross the bridge from Taganskaya metro — getting to Concert is a blast either way. But why did you come on foot? They have more than enough parking spaces, you know, and it’s a shame when those are empty. Anyway, a pompous glass entrance lined with lions makes sure you don’t miss the place and the stairway bracketed with lounge chairs and plants makes sure you stay there. LAYOUT: The ticket stand is the first thing to greet you there, manned by lovely young ladies who are more than happy to chat with you about the band or DJ playing today. Or say that there are no more tickets left. Or that the wardrobe is full, but they could still hang your coat for a hundred rubles. Once you get past them, you’re in for a long and winding corridor in the dark, with such stops as the (full) wardrobe, merchandise stand and restrooms check pointing your way. The club itself is broken into two sections, and them one into two again. The “club” and the “restaurant” share the same lodgings, but the “restaurant” also has two separate banquet hall, isolated and fitted with plasma screens for purposes of drunken fist exercise, one should presume. But the main area, where the concerts take place, is a large chamber half-detached by columns, not to mention a mean railing about a meter before the stage. A perfect set-up for those listening and eating, but anyone lacking a dinner table has to do with standing behind the restaurant area boundary lines and be constantly hustled by waiters running back and forth. GROOVE: But it’s for the better really. It’s quite clear than no one who is simply interested in a particular musician is going to go to Concert to see him anyway. The crowd wants to be fed and entertained, and I don’t suppose any portraits are required. Concert gives off class, but at a price — a low price. The setting is nocturnal no matter where you’re standing, the bulging Medieval-Renaissance fusion ornaments look too fake to be anything at all, and the number of guards scanning the area is a little over the quiet meal limit. The music played at the club is expectable: Vladimir Kuzmin, Victor Zinchuk, Maxim Leonidov, manly musicians of the living oldies variety. They are the type that can always draw a considerable crowd, but the same crowd every time. I caught Chizh & Co. blasting one Buddy Guy rip off after another, and was thoroughly depressed. But hey, that’s just me, so if you enjoy that kind of music — you will continue to do so, because the sound is exceptional and the lighting precise, though a bit annoying after an hour or two. Oh, and the food. It’s quite acceptable, really. Nothing too extraordinary, but the menu goes on and on, so everyone should be happy. The term “everyone” excludes, of course, persons looking for an exquisite meal. It’s a club, not a fancy restaurant, even if Concert does try to look like it’s both. And the carpaccio gave me food poisoning, but I’m sure that’s just my own luck, since the dish was actually pretty good for the first couple of hours. COSTS: Average. You can split a dinner for around 1,000 rubles, or just get wasted with 200-ruble cocktails. Or, I don’t know, get a bottle of champagne for 3,100, ask them to bring it unopened, put it in a shopping bag and leave. BATHROOMS: Nice mirrors, boring bathrooms. I’m not sure if nice mirrors reimburse the boredom of the bathrooms, or whether the boring bathrooms do something to one’s perception of the mirrors. Or, for that case, if the quality of the mirrors has anything at all to do with the rest of the bathrooms. But the bathrooms are boring, and something had to be said about them. HOURS: Open till midnight on weekdays and till six in the morning on Friday and Saturday. Even club staff need a Sunday off, have a heart. Concerts and discos take place strictly on Friday and Saturday, so only come on weekdays if you want a rest from the place’s usual crowd. |
